Zombie Obama vs Congress

*Originally posted to the whowhouldwin subreddit

Congress settles down to hear the latest State of the Union address but is caught by surprise when a zombified President Obama staggers up to the podium. For some reason the doors are barred and security is nowhere to be seen. C-Span is broadcasting to the entire nation, whose fate now lies in the hands of our 535 democratically elected representatives. God help us all.

What happens next? Do the Republicans and Democrats make a decisive bipartisan effort to contain the situation and then calmly debate a long term solution that respectfully compromises pragmatic realities and Constitutional precedenthahaha nvm.

Assuming they are not too busy jizzing their pants, does the Tea Party live up to its big talk and Second Amend the zombie-COMMIE-muslimkenyan-in-Chief? Or do their overlords in the Republican establishment leadership maintain their tenuous control of the party and reign in the far-right wing?

Do the Democrats rush forward to suck Obama’s undead dick or do they stampede en masse to the right and insist that they never explicitly said they voted for Zombama and actually disagree with many parts of his platformtombstone that they conveniently haven’t mentioned until this exact moment?

Orrr does the whole thing get held up in committees and filibusters and everyone kinda forgets about it in a few months? Or does something else entirely happen? How does the media spin the incident?

Most importantly: HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THE 2016  PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION ISHILLARYGOINGTORUNISBIDENTOOOLDCANCHRISTIERECOVERFROMBRIDGEGATEWILLRANDPAULORBERNIE SANDERSGOTHIRDPARTYJEWSWAKEUPAMERICAFIRSTPASTTHEPOSTMARKMYWORDSTHINGSAREGONNABE DIFFERENTTHISTIMEAROUNDTHELIBERTARIANPARTYISTOTALLYRELEVANTGODBLESSAMERICA!?$%#!!!?

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